Transitioning Your Parent from Home to an Assisted Living Community

by Terrell Orum-Moore
April 2010

Sometimes the most difficult decisions often result in the most rewarding outcomes. And that has certainly proven true for many adult children who have decided to enable their aging parents to move into an assisted living facility. “It’s never an easy decision for a senior or their adult children to move from a life at home to life in a senior community,” says Michael Lowenstam, Executive Director of Beverly Hills Carmel North, an assisted living community. Feelings of failure or guilt can also accompany the transition to this new model of living. While most eldercare specialists acknowledge that such feelings can be uncomfortable, the decision itself is often unavoidable. “Once a senior and their family discover the advantages to this new way of life, a lot of the anxiety disappears,” Lowenstam continues.

Residents and their families eventually recognized that a qualified assisted living community will provide the care, peace of mind and fulfillment that this delicate stage of life requires. “We all have to recognize the realities of a situation or we run the risk of greater discomfort,” continues Lowenstam of Beverly Hills Carmel. “Despite our very good intentions, a spouse or adult children often can’t meet the demands of an aging loved one.”

Medication management, meal preparation, shopping, housekeeping, laundry, bathing, dressing and grooming may require a level of assistance that exceeds the limits of even the most devoted family members. In fact, a recent AARP determined that family caregivers provide an average of 21 hours a week to non-independent seniors. Home care can often prove to be inadequate for the very specific needs of some seniors. While many of us feel uncomfortable at the thought of facilitating our aging parents or spouse’s move to an assisted living community or skilled nursing facility, it is typically the a resident’s loved ones who make the ultimate decision. “A child or spouse can’t usually convince someone to leave their home voluntarily,” said Eldon Tepper, Executive Director of The Beverly Hills Rehabilitation Centre, “Unfortunately, it’s a decision the aging senior will not make for themselves.” In some extreme cases, some seniors don’t even recognize their familial care givers at all.

Interestingly, once the decision is made, all parties usually fare extremely well. In most cases, seniors adapt remarkably well to their new environment and report high levels of satisfaction, and curiously, elevated feelings of independence. And of course, family members eventually regain a peace of mind that overcomes their initial feelings of guilt or discomfort.

A successful transition is always helped by thoughtful planning. Don’t wait until a crisis occurs before considering long-term care. Unfortunately, many families only consider long-term care after a debilitating illness or episode. A lack of prior planning will just add to the anxiety of the traumatic events that accompany such a situation. Rash decisions and unexpected consequences can often occur that thoughtful deliberation might have otherwise avoided.

Parkinson's Brigade Walk in Santa Monica to Help Raise Money and Awareness for a Cure.

Simi Valley, CA- “As a Board Member and volunteer for the Greater Los Angeles Parkinson's Disease Associations, I 've met so many courageous people whose lives were drastically altered by this disease, not only the individuals with the disease but their families, as well, ” said Simi Valley resident Kym Guy. “So, for the past 2 years, I have been the event chairperson for our annual walk-a-thon that raises money for a cure. Our goal this year will be to raise $100,000 and we think we can do! "

“We are currently looking for teams to participate in our April 18th walk because all the money raised, 100% of it, will go to fund research in the Greater Los Angeles area . We need volunteers to help us hand out food and water, register walkers and other logistics involved in helping over 500 participants, “ she said. The 2010 Parkinson’s Walk is being held in Santa Monica for the 4th year and several APDA chapters participate, including San Fernando, San Gabriel and Ventura County. “ It’s a great way to spend a Sunday morning and we would love to have you, “ said Guy, a single-parent mom.

Guy has lived in Wood Ranch for 5 years and, when not busy cheering her high-school daughters water polo team, uses her position as Director of Marketing for the Beverly Hills Carmel Retirement Hotels and the Rehabilitation Centre of Beverly Hills, to pursue opportunities to improve senior issues at every turn. Please join us at the Santa Monica City Hall at 9:00AM on April 18th for a fun-filled morning of events, a health expo, music, and more.

For information about APDA LA or webiste is www.parkinsonsla.org and of additional information on the Parkinson’s Walk, visit www. ParkinsonsBeachBrigade.org or call Kym at 805-490-4076.